Boring and Unoriginal

I haven't done anything about my weight and I am still way chubbier than I would like to be. I am bigger than ever but I have been bigger than ever for the last pounds. I should be doing something about it because I am beginning to not to recognize myself. I am more than a chubby version of myself I am becoming someone I don't even recognize. I need to do something about it. I just don't know what. Okay, I do know what...Diet and Exercise. BUT (yeah, like you didn't know that was coming) it is SO not a priority. When I have free time and I don't have that much free time with three kids and one is still at home, I would rather read, knit, blog, email, write letters, watch TV than exercise. I have a friend who has really gotten into working out and she keeps saying, "If I can do it so can you." If I could I would. I know that is what all us fatties say. But really I am just not interested in working out - I wish I was but I am not. But I have to do something. I do not want to be this fat. I want to look like myself and not some unrecognizable fatty. So next week I am going to do something.

I wish that there was a little something about me that set me apart in a significant way OR that I had at least one original thought. I listened to a podcast today and the woman who was speaking was saying exactly what I would like to say. She is doing what I would like to do, being who I would like to be. I feel about as original as a one dollar bill or coin as the case may be. This is really bothering me today. I thought that at least my thoughts were mine but it seems like I share a lot of thinking with this lady who did the podcast. gah.

Just an update on meeting the new friends... It went well. My insecurity showed a little when I was a bit condescending a couple of times. I tried very hard not to be when I noticed that I was. She is a very good artist and very confident person. She seems really nice. I think she felt put on the spot a bit which didn't help that I was a bit condescending. I think she didn't mind our little group but I also think she felt a wee bit left out - not entirely excluded but on the fringes.

An update on the losing weight...I think I am dooming myself to be fat. Yay Me!